RIPPED BODY
Well defined cheekbones.. jet black hair.. sculpted muscles.. ripped body..What's not to like?
FORCIBLY GRABBED
I’m already one year old and my mommy is still whining about her birthing pains when she gave birth to me. I don’t know if she means that literally, or she’s just trying to say that I, her cute and adorable baby boy, bore deep holes into her pocket.* OB-gyne = P250.00 / visit
* maternity bill (normal delivery) = P25,000.00
* maternity bill (ceasarian section) = P80,000.00
* iPD vaccine = P4,000.00 x 3
* rotavirus vaccine = P3000.00 x 2
* 900 g infant formula = P860.00
* sleepless nights = PRICELESS
Apparently, mom and dad are still going to have to think twice before giving me a baby sister, unless of course they want their payday loans for the next three years to be forcibly grabbed by little baby sister and me. Hehehe.
KISSING BOOTH
Aren't you people tired of kissing me?I am a baby for God's sake, not a kissing booth!
GRANDMA JEBE
I hear mom and dad talking at night about how Grandma Jebe worked day and night so she could said my Mommy and my Aunt Bebeth to an exclusive school. I heard she is a single mother too. It must have been really hard for her.Mom graduated college five years ago and my Aunt Bebeth is already in Med School but she says that she’s still paying for a cash advance loan she got many years ago. She might just be exaggerating, but it’s probably close to the truth.
Grandma Jebe is the greatest woman I know. When she grows old, I’m going to take care of her.
BIG FOREHEADS
Big foreheads run on my mom's side of the family. I just hope that equates to big brains.. or I'm toast.
MORE IMPORTANT
The day I was able to sit on a high chair at Jollibee was more important to my parents than the day Ninoy Aquino died for our country.
MORE THAN HAPPY
The lechon de leche didn't make it to the table. so I was more than happy to take it's place.
MY BAD
Me: That's mom, dad and me. We are the cam whor--Mom: Iago!
Me: What? I was just gonna say "family".
Mom: Iago Francis..
Me: Uh, ok mom, my bad.
PRETTY FRIENDS
My mom has a lot of pretty friends.I bet they instantly felt the pressure of bearing a cute and talented baby after they saw me.
ON MY EYES
My evil mom accidentally dripped shampoo on my eyes.Now I look like Captain Piggy Barbosa without the eyepatch.
60 SECONDS
OK mom, you HAD a nice waist. I'll give you 60 seconds.Tell me when you're done and I'll escort you back to reality.
OTHER THAN HER
I have 12 years to practice this move before my mommy even allows me to look at girls other than her.
ABOUT A THING
Don't you worry about a thing Uncle Jong. I promise to take care of your daughter and bring her home by midnight.
KISS AND MAKE UP
Mom and I have this sort of love-hate relationship going on, but we make it a point to kiss and make up by the end of the day.
FUTILE ATTEMPTS
Mom, is this another one of your futile attempts to give me a baby sister?If your answer is no, then good --because I'm not a friggin' schizo!
ON THE LIPS
.. to think this is the same lady who asks everybody not to kiss me on the lips.38,458,239 microbes and counting.
HIGH PRICE
Nationalistic baby throwing a tantrum over the high price of rice and gasoline! See page 36 for details.
JUST HOLLYWOOD
Do not be decieved by my disappearing hands. As Kobe Bryant used to say, "It's jus' Hollywood baby."
LIKE A MESS
You just gave birth to me, I'll give you that.-- but is that reason enough to look like a rape victim?
